Being conscious v. taking conscious ownership in relationships ❤️

It's easy to bypass the ownership part by restricting yourself with notions like high-vibes-only*, or being the change you want to see (and ignoring all the stuff you don't want to see).

Being conscious without taking ownership is not really being conscious at all — it's comfort-seeking.

And fair enough! I want comfort too.

But I want truth more. I want AUTHENTICITY more.

(Also, I've learned the self-soothing and -regulating techniques I need to create more comfort in challenging moments.)

Taking conscious ownership means shadow work: the discovery and acceptance of aspects of ourselves we keep hidden.

In relationship, these aspects flare out at inopportune moments when our facades are down and we can no longer sustain what we've created to protect ourselves from psychological or emotional discomfort.

Or, and perhaps worse, we hide ourselves away completely instead of risking the discomfort. We stop participating in life.

The Tao of Self logo is a visual representation of all that:

The outer ring is who you think you are (conscious self, ego, masks).

The inner ring is who you're afraid you are (unconscious self, ego, shadow aspects).

The golden nugget in the centre is you — your true SELF, open and vulnerable and expressed and real.

***

Shadow work happens in the inner ring — a great exposition of fears and limitations and your oppressive expectations of other people's expectations.

Our work is to clear that space, to offer compassion to the SELF at each level, as well as to the mechanisms we've built to protect and comfort.

All of this work happens in relationship — and exponentially so in primary partnership. Being conscious is a first step...and the magic is in the ownership.

What are you ready to own?

- S

*Any work intended to deepen your awareness, no matter how dark, will not harsh your vibe — rather, it clarifies and raises your vibration (or whatever terminology you like)