Moreover, how do you WANT to show up?

Options include: fed, peed, frazzled, scattered, still, anxious, closed off, open, basic needs met or unmet, trusting, wary, loving, low blood sugar, ready to rock, timid, overtly sexual, loud, stinky...and every other way people can be.

I have an ex who would pick me up from work every day looking miserable and sour from workday stress (and the unconscious desire to be rescued from it). What a delight 😕

The same ex would "show up" to important events having not eaten, feeling woozy, unable to function. By choice. "Choice".

The subconscious desire to be rescued and cared for and not responsible is strong in many of us — it's the ultimate throwback, to the womb.

It's the unconscious "choice" to resent life itself, to eschew personal responsibility and participation.

It's an internal tantrum — one that I would encourage you to have externally, in a controlled environment, over and over until it's out of your system and you can get on with things.

I struggle with this regularly — part of me yearns to be rescued and not responsible. It's no surprise I found myself with a partner shining a spotlight on this shadow of mine.

My tantrum has been long and grueling and tiresomely repetitive. And that's okay too — it's a journey. ♥️

*

You might also have deep patterns from your family of origin in the way you show up — in my example above, it was a misery-loves-company situation and my ex came by this attitude honestly. Misery and anxiety was how that family expressed themselves.

It takes work, but it's your choice how you show up NOW.

Sometimes the most important thing is just showing up at all, certainly — but the way you do it is a reflection of what matters to you, and how you want your life to feel.

❤️
- S